As a couple, it can be a rough patch when your sex life is in a rut. Sex is one of the greatest forms of intimacy enjoyed by a couple, and it is unfortunate if one or both partners are dissatisfied. A survey by EdenFantasys.com questioned 1000 American couples, and one-third of them said that they were not happy with their sex lives. About 34 percent of people could not rate their sex life as satisfying or very satisfying.[1]
The Tips to Help You Have More Passionate Sex
Dry spells are common in every relationship, and you should not pressure yourself excessively. However, if you and your partner want to reignite the flame and boost your sex drives again, then there are some tips that you can follow.[2]
1. Channel your energy in another direction
Your body is your greatest possession, and you need to fall in love with it all over again. Try activities such as dancing and yoga that will engage your body in slow movements so that you become comfortable in your own skin. You must develop a positive attitude towards your own body before you try to re-establish your relationship with your partner’s body.[3]
A study found that sexual inactivity can often lead couples to feel sad and unattractive. Activities that require exercise and can increase your flexibility will help you reclaim your sexual prowess.
2. Communicate freely with each other
We live in 2020, and there is absolutely no reason that you cannot have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner about your sex life. It is natural for a couple to discuss sex in all forms, even if you are going through a dry spell. Studies have found that men and women tend to have very different sexual expectations. Miscommunication can often lead to bad sex because partners do not understand how they can ensure a mutually pleasurable experience.
Fix a date night and have a frank discussion about your expectations from sex. Discuss your likes and dislikes and think about new sex moves that you might want to try out in the future. The goal is not to make the night sexy, but instead to give each other new information and evaluate the current situation.[4] Feel free to share any hidden fantasies you have because experimentation can only lead to better sex in the long run. Honesty is important.
3. Try something new
Sometimes, you have to fix your relationship outside the bedroom in order to fix your sex life. Couples who have been together for a long time tend to get stuck in monotony at times. It is important that you keep trying out new things and enjoying fresh experiences together so that the relationship does not feel stagnant for either partner.
When you do something new together, it can reignite the spirit of bonding and intimacy that was lost during daily chores. Instead of boring date plans, opt for activities that can have a reinvigorating effect. For example, an amusement park ride will provide tons of excitement. The formation of dopamine in the body will help recreate the happiness you felt when you first got together. According to experts, chemicals such as dopamine can boost romance and physical attraction. This is a great way to create new memories as well.[5]
4. Plan a getaway
Spending time together is the ultimate key to maintaining a happy sex life. However, it can be difficult for working couples who may not have the energy to bond after a rough day. This is why planning getaways ahead of time is important. Even a weekend getaway is sufficient if you do not have the time to go on a vacation.
You can try something exciting such as role-playing. As long as you prepare beforehand, things should go smoothly during your sexy rendezvous. Create imaginative backstories and have fun with the idea. The U.S. Travel Association has states that couples who like to travel together often have more active sex lives.
If you want to avoid the pressure to perform, you do not have to term it as a romantic getaway. Get experimental, and head out the door. Being with each other in nonsexual situations will also do a lot to improve your relationship.[6]
5. Take a sex class
There is nothing embarrassing about going to a sex class, and you should have no qualms about booking one. Couples who are not going through a dry patch can also benefit massively from attending a sex class because there is always more to learn.
Attending a couples’ sex class will give you access to an entirely new type of sex play that you may not have tried before. You can simply sign up for a one-night sex class in the beginning if you do not want to make any commitments.[7] Moreover, this effort will show your partner that you are willing to change the current situation.
Sex classes can teach couples about new sex positions and techniques. If you want to try out a new technique, in particular, you can look for a class dedicated to that. The learning environment will not feel intimidating if you shake off your misgivings.
6. Venture into the world of erotica
You can choose to read a book together or watch a movie from the erotica genre. This will help you reacquaint with sex as a couple. You can also find couple-friendly porn easily if you care more about the stimulation and less about the experience. You will get a better idea of what your partner likes and dislikes. Notice their reactions and store the information for later use.
If you truly want to go wild, you can head to a sex convention. You can search for a weekend sex convention in your city where you will be able to attend sex classes and observe sex play. There is no pressure to participate. You can utilize these ideas later in your bedroom.
7. Pleasure yourself while your partner observes
Masturbation lets your partner see you getting pleasure, and that can help increase intimacy.[8] Allowing a person to see you masturbation requires displaying vulnerability, which helps improve your bond as a couple. Moreover, this can be an educational experience because your partner will be able to learn what works for you from a close range. Masturbation is also known to be a stress-receiver, and it might even lead to more sexual encounters. If you are feeling adventurous, you can use a remote-control sex toy to conduct foreplay on your partner when you are out on a date.[9]
8. Talk through your troubles
You will not be able to enjoy a good sex life if there are cracks in your relationship itself. Any kind of miscommunication or a complete lack of communication can lead to sex droughts because the partners begin to feel detached from each other. A recent survey by the Guardian found that couples who talked through their problems even if it involved an argument were 10 times happier than the couples who avoided conflict.[10] Hard conversations are a way to lay yourself bare in front of your partner and foster intimacy. There is no problem without a solution, but you need to first talk to each other so you can navigate through it together.
Sex lives are usually not
constant. There will be high points and low points inevitably. The key is to
make the best of both.
[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3807599/
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